Are we there yet?

DICHOTOMY BOY

I have two sons apparently. One son loves his playgroup so much that as soon as we get there, he's out of my arms exploring his surroundings and playing with his friends. He'd not notice if I suddenly left in the middle, as long as he had plenty of snacks and entertainment to last him the rest of the afternoon. My other son prefers to remain close by my side. As I wander through our house, trying to empty the dishwasher or wash a load of laundry, this son clings closely to my legs. He whines constantly to be picked up, and screams like his heart is broken if I leave the room without him. He will not stay even with Daddy, his hero, not even if Daddy has the bottle and all the toys. This son is terrified to let me out of his eyesight.

How could these boys possibly be related, and what are their names? Jake.

That's right, both of these boys are one and the same, our only son, Jake. The difference is so night and day that people who only see him in one setting are unwilling to believe that he could possibly be any different in other settings.

Just the other day, my mom was admonishing me that I needed to get Jake more involved in social groups. She advised, "He needs to be around other people more so that he can get over this need to be around you constantly."

Meanwhile, the ladies in our playgroup are amazed. With their sweet babies sitting in their laps, the other mommies remark, "That's great that he's so independent!" I'm sure they were musing quietly to themselves how much I'd be able to accomplish around the house with such an independent child.

Sigh.

Only my husband Dan seems to believe me when I describe the dual nature of our son's personality. Perhaps this is because he has also seen first hand the lightning change in the baby between quiet playtime to shrieking hysterics to giggling acrobatics, all within a minute's time. It's not so hard to believe that there's more than one little baby in that little body when witnessing such drastic mood swings.


ARE WE THERE YET?

I've been repeatedly admonished to "enjoy these moments while they last", but yet I still can't help looking ahead wistfully. Sure, watching Jake on the verge of entering toddlerhood is fun, but I wish constantly that Jake were just a *little* bit older so we could start having some real fun.

I wish this when we make our first trip to the outdoor pool of the season, and Jake screams his head off after the first 5 minutes because the water's cold, while the older kids are having a blast. I wish this when I check the local library's activity schedule, and see more than five kids' activities that look REALLY fun.... aimed at ages 3-6. I wish this when we forego our yearly trip to a local amusement park because Jake would not be old enough to enjoy the kiddie rides. I wish this when we go to the park, and the only thing Jake can enjoy are the baby swings, because he can't walk or climb over the other playground equipment. I wish this when Dan and I are enjoying bowls of ice cream to cool the hot summer evenings, and Jake looks wistfully at our ice cream, smacking his little lips for a cool treat too.

I know some of these wishes seem selfish, but really I wish these things for Jake's sake as well. Sure, I want to do more and enjoy more with him, but that's because I want to enjoy watching him have more fun. As it is, most of our excursions as attempts to enjoy summer activities and events seem to register with Jake as little more than everyday errands to the grocery store or such. In short, I want to have more fun by watching Jake have more fun.

Maybe this desire to rush Jake's progress into full toddlerhood fueled our impulse to give Jake his birthday present early. I found an amazing kiddie pool for Jake, complete with water slide, sprinklers, riding toy, and stacking rings. Well, yesterday I presented the idea to Dan that maybe we should go ahead and set the pool up for Jake so that we don't waste half the summer waiting for Jake's birthday to give him the pool. As always, a chance to not waste money appealed to Dan, so he set up the pool and attached the hose. The pool was beautifully bright and colorful; it was the epitomy of my best memories of fun in the summer sun. Jake played and explored the bright colors, and riding toy, and slide... for all of 5 minutes. Then he was more than ready to get out of the cold water.

Maybe years from now, as we're splashing Jake in the wave pool, or squirting each other in water gun fights, or watching Jake rush off to get in line for the big slide at the playground, we'll look back and miss the days of babyhood.

I look forward to the chance to find out.